Monthly Archives: March 2018

A tribute to my mother, Deborah, who transitioned one year ago today

Moma is a warrior spirit and was always beautiful inside and out; very strong and loving to those she trusted.  She was incredibly creative making just about anything her tiny hands or innovative mind touched: modeling, acting, writing, theatre, teaching modeling, drawing, painting, sewing, cooking, baking, jewelry designing, cake designing to name a handful of her talents.  She was the Queen of all trades, a trail blazer, a nonconformist, a self-proclaimed rebellious rebel, always moving with her work, and she loved collecting dolls. Her favorite color was purple, favorite flower was a yellow rose, one of her favorite movies was the Wizard of Oz which we would look forward to watching once a year when I was a kid.  I used to search earnestly for the perfect cognac filled chocolates for her, which she loved.  Mom voiced her opinion and made sure you knew where she stood. One of her favorite quotes was “Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.” She didn’t let many people close to her, so, if you were close to her, you meant a lot to her.  Halloween was Moms favorite holiday when she created the scariest haunted houses and coolest handmade costumes! I look back and see how different my childhood was, when I was 5 years old, Mom would pick me up from daycare late at night in her Lizzie Borden costume, blood and all, having performed as Lizzie Borden at the theatre; getting to see her run across the stage in The American werewolf in London, seeing her role in the movie The Big Easy, and watching her model and win almost every pageant she competed in.  As a teenager, any boyfriend that I dated was scared of her and she liked it that way.  She impressed theatre, film, and pageants on me. Her passions were modeling, running her own modeling studios, acting, theatre, bringing her girls up in pageants, and writing.  She wrote a script about her life (which was incredibly adventurous, very colorful, far from mundane or the status quo, with truths only those closest to her knew she endured and sacrificed), a book on skin care, and was researching and writing her third book.  She created and opened Fantasy World, an arcade store to give kids in the small town I grew up in something to do.  She never butted in to my business but would always listen if I needed her solid advice. Her children and grandchildren meant the most to her and she spent her last days raising two of her grandchildren.  In her wallet she had pictures of all her grandchildren, one of her greatest gifts and loves.  Mom was feisty when she needed to be and all woman as well.  She taught her daughters the importance of equality, that women and men are equal, and how to be strong.  She worked hard and managed crews of men in telecommunications.  She didn’t have an easy life and learned to protect herself and her children at a young age.  I found Mom’s gun and a machete in my Easter bunny pillowcase when going through her things…this was totally my Mom! She would not want us to dwell in grief but to get through it and remember the fun times with her and to enjoy life.  On her last night, I got to hear my Moma belly laugh and on her last day, I got to hold her hand and comfort her as she left this world…two gifts I cherish deeply with all my heart.  Mom had a sudden heart attack, unexpectedly in my home at 65.  I miss you every day and wish I could have even one more minute with you, Moma.  I remember all the fun times with you and know you are on to better things and are at peace.  I feel your presence every once in a while, and it makes my heart so happy.  I can still hear your awesome, goofy laugh and you telling me “I Love You More” which never got old.  I am honored to be your daughter and although it hurts that I cannot see you, I know you are still here, just in a different way and that you are with God, Jesus, the Angels, and those you love in the Spirit world, that you are finally at peace and have rested, and I can’t wait to see you again!  Until then…know that you are deeply loved, cherished, respected, honored, appreciated, celebrated, and NEVER  forgotten.  Love you More Moma, Dixie

Walk out

My deepest condolences to the families, friends, and staff who lost innocent loved ones a month ago in the Florida school shooting.  Students stood together this morning to remember the 17 lives lost and to have their voices heard and actions noticed.  As we all know, these shootings must stop! I believe in rights to owning guns and storing them safely. Growing up with a single mother, I knew exactly where to find her gun if needed but knew it was completely off limits otherwise.  That stated, I also believe in a waiting period and background check before anyone can purchase a gun to help prevent guns in the hands of those who wish to harm others.  My daughter, along with other classmates, staff, and parents walked out of school today to remember the lives lost and to have their voices heard and actions noticed. I am proud of her and everyone across the nation who is and has been standing up for change.  Nothing changes if nothing changes!